Favorite Summer Pictures!

Warning!  Picture HEAVY!

Run Daddy & Aden!  They were still holding the bat :o)

 Holding an anteater.

 Very cute!

 Just playing with Photobooth on vacation!

 He loves me :o)

 I know...there are no words but it's pretty darn fun.

 Silly boy!

 I love, love seeing them run like this!

 There was so much giggling!  Giraffes love romaine lettuce!

 Daddy and Aden :o)

 My sweet babies!

Children, Internet and Pornography

Charis, my 8 1/2 year old, just asked me if she could go on google to pull up some animal websites.  I stepped in to do it and as some "doggie" images showed up, it reminded me that it's my job to keep her safe on the internet. It was just a couple of years ago that we had two separate family friends who were exposed to pornography at her age.

Both families had computers out in the open. Both families had safety features on the computer. In fact, one family has a computer tech in the house so they had amazing safety features for children who explore the internet. Both boys were doing some googling for school and both boys in a matter of minutes with mom in the room or nearby were exposed to pornography at 9 years old. Both boys felt uncomfortable with it but didn't know what to say to their parents so instead both were pulled into it for a matter of weeks before going to mom and dad.

These families did everything they were "supposed" to do to protect their children but had to work through some things earlier than they had hoped to.. Both boys are fine now and the families worked through it in a healthy way but the recollection is a reminder to me to not relax while Charis is learning the internet. I just wanted to encourage my friends who have children who are surfing the internet to be involved, stay on top of your game. Nobody else is going to watch out for your babies like you will.

Hope Now

Tonight I watched "Letters to God" all by myself and was impacted. It wasn't necessarily the most brilliant movie or a storyline that you couldn't see the end coming but by the way the young boy's character held onto hope and what God was doing and what God could potentially do was what impacted me. The last week I've had some discouragement in various forms come my way and have been frustrated. Discouraged at some who'd speak negatively about me and my business, people who don't know me. Frustrated with my feet because they are sore all the time. Frustrated with this stupid, lingering cold that hasn't been a terrible cold but enough to put me out of commission and I'm still going to have a hard time teaching tomorrow. Frustrated because I want to settle into a schedule and be the perfect Mama and wife! Frustrated because I need more instructors, more classes added to my center schedule and I just want it all to happen NOW!!



I know I'm so silly! I've been in 2 weeks and have pushed myself at a really hard pace over the last couple of months but because I see the potential of what "can be" and what is "going to be" then it's hard not to want it NOW. I just have so many dreams and expectations of who I'm becoming and who God is in our lives. Crazy dreams that would make other people shake their head!

But the lessons of life aren't learned in the destination are they? The lessons are in the journey. The journey of how we respond to our circumstances. The journey of how we grow and mature in our character? How we respond in the secret place and in the public place. How will I respond when I find out people who don't know me are speaking awful things about me or are rejoicing when I fail? How will I respond when my children don't meet up to my expectations and do something I don't want them to do? Better yet how will I respond when my first reaction to someone else's failure is rejoicing or maybe when they have a great victory and I'm jealous? Will I learn to grieve when it's o-k to grieve? Will I learn to press my face towards the goal and run the race hard no matter what anyone says? Will I learn to believe in myself and what I'm capable of? Will I be a warrior and fight when it's time to fight? Will I learn to discern those times...the time to fight, the time to grieve, the time to rest?

Will I learn to live a life of joy, kindness, passion and grace? Living with expectaion of the good in people, searching for the treasure? Will I learn from my mistakes and be o-k with making them? Will I be able to say sorry when I make them? Will I clean up my mess when I make it?


There's so much more to the journey then we understand. Sometimes I just want to get to the destination and it's hard to embrace this moment of awkwardness and uncomfortablleness (my own word, I think!) But if I've learned anything in this last year, it's to embrace the journey. Some of the lessons above I've learned but still have trouble living all the time but that's o-k. Jesus has commited to me in a way that means I am becoming more and more like Him in this journey. I look forward to the lessons I'm learning and if anything I feel like I'm being born all over again. Coming into my own. Discovering the me that Owen and my Father God have always known was there and I'm sure sooooo many others! (Too many to name ;o)


Today, I'm reminding myself that it's the journey that matters. To take time to stop along the way and embrace the lessons so hopefully I won't have to repeat them too many times! I'm going to "Hope Now" and dream!
By the way the movie was excellent! I was pleasantly surprised by the acting and the soundtrack is incredible.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5-iiyToJNGk


Hope Now by Addison Road


If everything comes down to love
Then just what am I afraid of
When I call out Your name
Something inside awakes in my soul
How quickly I forget I'm Yours
When my life is like a storm
Rising waters all I want is the shore
You say I'll be ok
Make it through the rain
You are my shelter my from the storm

I am not my own. I've been carried by you all my life
Everything rides on hope now
Everything rides on faith somehow
When the world has broken me down
Your love sets me free
You've become my hearts desires
I will sing Your praises higher
Your love sets me free

My Favorite Things!

Hmmm....I've been thinking about my favorite things today and now I'm going to share just a few of them!

1)  A beautiful barn with pretty colors!  I pass them and think "I'd love to pose someone in front of that barn and take some pictures!"

2)  Pumpkin Donuts from Dunkin Donuts!  Oh my geeeeee....delish!

3)  The Internet - seriously, I can watch movies on Hulu and Netflix.  Surf the web, GOOGLE, keep in touch with friends and family all over the world!  I love it.

4)  Charis' passion and love for the arts and music.  The other day she said "Mommy, I think God has made me for a lot of things not just one...I'm going to be an amazing guitarist, singer, dancer and artist.  You think that he would give me more then just one great thing?!"   My reply "Yup, Charis, I do!"

5)  How Owen isn't afraid of housework and cooking - aww yeah (need I say anything else?)

6)  Cameras!  You can secretly capture the best moments when people aren't looking.  I can't wait for mine.

7)  Music - It speaks a language that I can't always articulate.  It brings peace, hope, joy, energy...tralalalala!!

8)  Lie To Me - I love that show!  The main character is so awkward that it's fabulous.

9)  Aden's snuggles.  I could sit all day with that little man...(insert my heart melting.)

10)  Riesling and cuddles and movies.  Yup, that's on the agenda for tonight!

11) Friends who aren't afraid to say it how it is.  No matter how hard it is to hear it, I'd much rather have a friend who will say it then not say it.

12)  That feeling after I finished a work-out.  Yes, I smell icky and am super sweaty but I savor the feeling that I finished another work-out.  I did it!

13)  Chinese food take-out!

Those are in no particular order just random, I promise!
So what are some of yours?

Oh the Glory of Aden!

This sweet boy just has me falling more and more in love with him lately!  He's really just been cracking me up with his stories and things that he has to say.  He's really hitting a new stage and coming into his personality!  What a joy!

I thought I'd share a couple of funny Aden moments....

The other day I walked into the bathroom and for the 2nd time in the day stepped in a little puddle of liquid.  The liquid was clear but not the kind of clear that I'd prefer to step in....so, I walked out of the bathroom and to the source (since Charis and I never miss and hopefully neither does Owen) and said "Aden, I just stepped in pee-pee for the 2nd time today!"   Charis yells out "Mommy, I did too!"  Aden looks at the both of us in disbelief as if "why are we both looking at him" and he yells "Me too!"  This coming from the child who likes to poke his head out the door while in the process of emptying his bladder...oh my geee.

The other day Aden went on a trip with Uncle Doug to Food Lion to buy skittles.  It was a great male bonding moment for them ;o)  Well, Owen (aka Daddy) took Aden to Food Lion the next day and convinced him to buy...drum roll please...skittles.  After they passed the soup aisle and Aden yelled "Wook, Wightning McWeen Woup!" (Translated into Look, Lightning McQueen Soup!)  Owen picked up the normal, little bag of skittles and Aden says "Daddy, let me show you wumping (something)"  He brings him to an aisle and says "Wook, they have skittles in a box and......" - he now runs down the aisle and says "...and a gigantic bag of skittles!"  As they are walking away (but only after Owen convinced Aden he's not getting the gigantic bag) Aden says "Daddy, Food Lion is a very cool place."  Thank you to Uncle Doug for introducing Aden to the coolness of Food Lion!

Last little story (and a little warning that my kids call body parts by their names!)   I pick up Aden from school and he has a potato with 5 toothpicks stuck in it and each toothpick has a little yellow playdough ball stuck on the end.  All last week they did bumblebee projects so I say "Aden, is that your bumblebee?"  He looks at me as if I'm an absolute idiot and says  "No, Mommy, it's a POTATOE."  Well, o-k then it's a potatoe.  Then his teacher calls out as I'm leaving "I'll let him tell you if it's a boy or a girl" with a little grin on her face.  We get in the car and I say "Tell me about your potato, Aden"  Aden - "Well, it's a potatoe (duh) and it's a boy potatoe, it has an imaginary penis.  Can't you see it?"  Again, he's looking like at me like "Mom, hello?!"

Oh my goodness, how I love this boy!

How Random Are My Thoughts!

Well, I've decided to just go with random tonight!  I love random, don't you?!

Random thought #1 - "I am falling in love with my children more and more every day!"  Yes, even on the not so great days, there are moments that I think "Holy Crap, could I fall any more in love with this little person?"  Tonight, I listened to Aden tell me (after closing his eyes for 15 seconds in bed) about the dream he just had and in the dream he was running fast!  It's always about running fast.  It's funny but so many people meet Aden and think the child is "Wide Open" - and that is true.  He's spunky, energetic, always running but he's also a little lover.  His teacher told me this week that he is the most affectionate in her class.  He rubs her shoulder, sits on her lap and hugs her a lot!  He's so sweet.  That's exactly how he is at home too.  And he doesn't just hand his love away to everyone, he chooses who he's going to shower his affection on.  Ohhhh....how I love him!!

Random thought #2 - "I dream and make plans not based on my lack or weaknesses but based on who I'm becoming, who I want to be and where I want to go!"  Today, I was doing my hair and getting ready for a meeting after a 4 hour search for a buffet to store all the trillion books that we homeschool with and Charis came running in and asked me if I had TWINS, would I still want to adopt another baby?  (Yes, people she's praying for twins and I'm worried considering the Lord answers her prayers!)  I hesitated only a moment and said yes!  But during the hesitation, I thought about the last week which was my first official week of homeschooling and very quickly realized if I had based it on the week, I would not have any more children.

The week was hard.  H-A-R-D!  It's not that 2nd grade is hard.  It's the learning to schedule everything, finding when Charis' best learning time is, learning to manage my business, schooling my daughter, my ministry, my online study program and my home all at the same time while still being a wife, mother, friend and mentor.  The homeschooling had some surprises like all of the preparation or discovering that I'm having to reteach Charis handwriting which is slowing us way down!  If I based my plan for the future based on the last week where I felt like a big, fat failure with a capital F then I would say NO way!  However, that would be basing my decision out of my lack and my weaknesses this last week instead of keeping my eyes on the prize.  It would be basing a decision out of fear and I'm not going down that route anymore.

Instead I will base my decisions on the goals I have for myself.  On seeing who I'm becoming and who I'm capable of being.  I'm trying to fill my mind with that vision and decide from there what I'm capable of.  That whatever comes across my path, I am capable because of what God has put inside of me and who He's made me to be to accomplish that thing and if that means "twins" and adoption, then so be it! But not because someone else wants that for me but because I want that for me and it produces excitement and passion! 

Random thought #3 - "I'm really terrible at roller skating and that's o-k!"  Haha!  Seriously, it's o-k.  Owen can be good at it and he can take the kids and I don't have to :o)

Random thought #4 - "I have a lot to offer."   So true.  I'm stinking adorable, funny and so much fun to be with.  I'm also very humble.....

Mine....All Mine!

It's such a strange thing but every day all kinds of ideas pop into my head to blog on and then when I sit down to blog, it has all left my brain!!  Where did it go, you might ask?  Who knows?  So today I decided I'm going to try my hardest to get it down on "paper" before it leaves my brain :o)

I've been contemplating lately what kind of season I've been in.  I believe we all move from season to season.  We have seasons of joy, seasons of mourning, seasons of healing, seasons of peace, seasons of stretching...and when I look my seasons, there seems to be some kind of common theme.   It seems as if when I settle into it is when I grow the most.  It's as if my roots are able to go a little deeper and I'm able to flourish in that place.  For me, it's about embracing what I'm facing at the moment and walking in it till I can't walk any further. 

This last season for me has been about ownership.  Ownership is a tricky thing, isn't it!?   When something is really good looking like a red convertible or a gorgeous red leather wallet  "Awww...yeah, that's mine!"   When our children our bright and shiny, behaving like little angels at the store or park and someone says "Is that your child?"  "Awwww...yeah, she's mine!"   There are certain things that are easier to own then other things.   When I've done something well or said something witty to those that I work with, it's easy to smile and own my work or my extremely funny humor (Owen tells me I'm the funniest person he knows.  I'm sure he's correct!)   Now when it comes to my mistakes or my attitudes or even my opinions that are not necessarily truth (oh my...did I say that out loud), it's a lot harder to own.

I mean really who wants to own their failures?  Who likes to admit when they're wrong or when they are absolutely full of it?  Hmmmm...well, I'd like to say I've always been mature enough to "own" the negatives as well as the positives but I'd be a big, fat liar!  Saying sorry and owning my junk has not been easy for me.  I struggled with what it really meant for me to admit these types of things.  To me it meant I was a failure but something happened at the beginning of the year.  I realized that that if I didn't look the failure in the eye (or the negative) that I wouldn't grow.  I had a deeper revelation that I was loved despite my failures by God, by my husband, by my family and friends.  It was a deeper knowing that I didn't have to perform for their love.  They didn't see me for my failures or negatives, they saw who I was going to be.  They saw the treasure inside of me.  Maybe some people saw my failures and judged me for them the way I judged myself but those opinions didn't matter.

They loved me for who I was going to be.  There was a season in my life where I had a lot of death.  Death of dreams and vision.  Death of who I was supposed to be.  We had a lot of difficult moments and I couldn't see any of the beauty of who I could be or who I was, I could only see the negative and I became a very fearful person.  Especially afraid to face my negative and my failures.  I lost sight of the treasure inside of me but there was a beautiful circle of people around me who loved me to life and I started loving me again.  And then it happened - as I started to really embrace the ownership of who I was supposed to be and receive the love of those around me again, suddenly failure didn't seem as scary.  My attitudes, mistakes and weaknesses were just opportunities to become who I am supposed to be.

It has been so freeing to be in this place.  My most recent prayer has been asking the Lord to search me and to know me (and now I really mean it...haha!)  Failure is no longer frightening, it's just a step closer to my goals.  A step closer to being a better mother, a better wife and a better friend.  Embracing my failures, mistakes, ugliness is creating a platform for me to rise higher.  It's truly freeing.  It makes living in my hoola hoop of peace much easier but that season is for another blog!